Freedom and kitties

Good news. I escaped. It took nine days of scraping loose a stone from my prison wall before I got through. Then it was simply a matter of lowering myself by my bed sheet and swimming to safety. Now I wear makeup to make my skin look darker, and I said "hola" a lot, and I haven't had any more problems.

Kidnapping aside, this place is really safe. For me, startlingly so: our neighbors don't lock their doors, and people leave their bikes in town without locks, too. Walking around town or on the beach at night is totally cool. Lindsey walks the two miles into town without getting pillaged in any way, although she says she got some interesting cat calls.

Speaking of which, we got some kitties.
Sometimes they are so cute I want to die. They are soft, they purr, and I love them. What's more, they are outside kitties, so they don't get hair on everything and I don't need to buy cat litter. And soon they'll be helping out with the food. In fact, tonight one of them caught his first mouse. I could not be more proud.

Kidnapped

Everybody warned me, and finally the unthinkable has happened. I was walking down the street wearing my George Bush t-shirt and humming The Stars and Stripes Forever when a band of mustache-wearing, revolver-wielding men suddenly came at me and threw me into the back of a truck. I struggled, but they hit me on the head and everything went dark.

I woke in a dark cell. They gave me some crusts of bread and dirty water, and I have to sleep on the cold cement. I'm posting this entry from an iPhone I stole off one of the guards - no doubt he got it from some other hapless American. They must have taken this photo of me to send to my relatives and friends for ransom.

I don't know when I'll be able to post again. They're sure to discover the phone before long. Please send your prayers my way. I only wish I'd never left the safety of my beautiful American shores.

Wild beasts

Before I had any plans to go to South America, I heard tales of giant-sized guinea pigs. Neither I nor most of the people I talked to knew they existed. I'm here to tell you that the stories are true.
Capybaras are totally cool. We saw big ones and little tiny babies, and they are much less freaky than they look in pictures. I want to ride one, but I don't think they'd like that.

We saw our first sea lion today. He was so still I thought he was dead, but then he yawned and sneezed on a nearby Uruguayan. Eventually the workers at the pier thought it was time for him to go, so they hosed him off until he plopped into the ocean.
Spending a day observing exotic creatures takes its toll, so we're spending an evening learning Spanish in front of a cozy fire.

First impressions

I've been here about 24 hours and enough has happened already to keep me blogging indefinitely. I am pictured here on my lovely rooftop patio with the friendly neighborhood dog, Lobo. He's taken quite a liking to us. The view is gorgeous, and last night we fell asleep to the sound of ocean waves.

I'm amazed by all the things that are different, but I'm just as amazed at what's the same. I hear Play That Funky Music White Boy in the grocery store, cars are made by Ford and GMC, and I can buy things like Pringles and Coca Cola, albeit with Spanish words printed all over them. On the other hand, everything from houses to cars to toilet paper rolls are smaller, more people drive mopeds than cars, I have yet to see a clock and am still not sure what time it is, and milk comes in a plastic bag.

I can and will expound on these things and more, but for now I'll leave you with a picture of the receipt I got from the market today.

Packing

Today we're stuffing what's left of our belongings into storage and packing the rest. Hopefully by tomorrow we'll have little left to do and can have a leisurely final day in the U.S.

I don't plan on writing again until we're down there, so stay tuned until we arrive Friday and I may have some exciting things to say.